Beyond Enough: Owning Your Value and Chasing Big Dreams

Victoria Canham • 19 June 2024 • 5 min read

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main."

~ John Donne

Beyond Enough: Owning Your Value and Chasing Big Dreams

Something I hear often in my coaching sessions is clients telling me they don’t feel like they are good enough in so many ways. It may be articulated as “no-one will hire me because…” or “I don’t think I can achieve that because…”; but whatever that missing word is, relates back to feelings of not being enough in some way or another – not good enough, not experienced enough, not English-speaking enough, not thin enough, not pretty enough, not worth enough, not clever enough, not educated enough, not nice enough, not strong enough blah blah blah. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?

The list is endless and then we haven’t even added in the hidden versions of the “not enough” statement that starts as “I am too” as in “I am too loud, too extra, too much” etcetera. Basically, everyone is tearing themselves apart internally, trying to live up to the most unrealistic expectations they have put on themselves.

We've all been there. You're scrolling through LinkedIn, seeing colleagues land promotions, entrepreneurial friends closing major deals, friends living their best lives in Bali, and all seemingly effortlessly conquering their goals. Meanwhile, that exciting project idea you have gets buried under a mountain of self-doubt. "Am I good enough?" whispers the voice in your head.

But here's the truth: you absolutely are.

You have to spend your whole life with yourself, so if you need to be told that everything is going to be ok, you are going to have to learn to pat yourself on the back.

You are worthy of support, but it is pointless waiting for it to come from somewhere else because you won’t believe it until you believe the words from yourself, about yourself. It will not be easy, you’ve been judging yourself so harshly for so long that you buy into the lies that you are not good enough and it is a lie, a massive lie. You have achieved so much in your life and it’s time for you to give yourself credit for those achievements and talents.

Now this is not in respect of thinking you I’m not good enough to be the highest paid actor in Hollywood when the last thing you starred in was your primary school nativity play. This is about knowing you are capable of achieving your dreams and excelling at the things you set your mind to. You have to give yourself the plaudits for having the courage to do the thing in the first place. You don’t have to be good at everything, you can’t be. Some of us are good at maths, some at languages, some at design, others at cooking or engineering or sports or people focused activities, or even a variation of multiple things but still, not everything. Own what you are good at, celebrate it and stop berating yourself for not being good at every little thing you try.

Proving Your Worth to Yourself

To build your self-confidence, you have got to develop new habits to help you to overcome self-doubt so that you can build enough belief in yourself to recognise how worthy you are of achieving the success you dream of. You need to do the work to develop your self-belief and confidence.

But ditch the airy-fairy "you are enough" mantras for a more grounded approach. You've got the skills, experience, and drive to conquer your goals.

Here's how to silence the self-doubt and embrace your full potential:

Reframe the Narrative: Instead of dwelling on perceived shortcomings, focus on your strengths. What are you naturally good at? What experiences have honed your skills? What have you achieved to date? Make a list and keep it handy for those moments of self-doubt. This is not to say we shouldn’t work on our weaknesses, but I have no doubt you’re already very aware of your weaknesses, so let’s put those aside for the sake of this exercise.

Make a list of all that you have overcome and all that you have achieved, where you showed up and where you stuck to your promises to yourself. It all begins with keeping those promises to yourself.

Build a Supportive Community: You are not an island, you need a community. Surround yourself with supportive peers and mentors who believe in you. These people can offer encouragement, honest feedback, and a reality check when the self-doubt creeps in.

Embrace the Learning Curve: Nobody knows everything. View challenges and setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow. The world is constantly evolving, so should your skillset. Take courses, attend workshops, network with industry experts – invest in your own development. This desire for continuous learning forms a major part of the growth mindset that fosters resilience and fuels your progression towards your goals.

Shift your focus from comparison to contribution: What impact do you want to make? How can your skills benefit your team, business or organisation? Focusing on your purpose fuels motivation and drowns out the comparison game.

Take Massive Action and Leave Over Analysis Behind: Overthinking is a classic self-doubt tactic. Don't get paralysed by analysis. Take that first step, even a small one, then take another and another. Trust yourself to learn and adapt as you go. What is the thing that you need to do to take the next level of action? Taking action, especially those outside of your comfort zone, builds confidence.

Pick better words, pick a better reality: Become consciously aware of the words that you use and stop yourself from thinking negative thoughts about yourself by acknowledging the thought and replacing it with a positive variation. Start with “I have got this” and repeat tomorrow.

Remember, your big dreams aren't some distant fantasy. They're a roadmap to a future you're capable of creating. Don't wait for a magical moment of feeling "enough." Take action, learn from setbacks, and trust that you have the capability to achieve incredible things.

You can’t go on struggling and self-soothing and chasing dopamine hits to make you feel more valued. Put some skin in the game and take control. If you could do it alone, you would have done it by now. Do the work, stop making excuses and upgrade yourself. Come and have a free coaching discovery call <- Click to book

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The Unlimited Self: Destroy Limiting Beliefs, Uncover Inner Greatness, and Live the Good Life - Jonathan Heston

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Victoria Canham - Mental Performance Coach

Victoria is an ICF-accredited certified professional coach, who offers bespoke performance coach. With a background in change management and countless hours of professional coaching training and experience, I made the big switch to full-time coaching in 2020. I know what it is like to suddenly have the rug pulled out from under you while you're busy making other plans, as a result, I now help people like you to bounce back from adversity and major setbacks to emerge stronger and better than ever before. Our clients have transformed from feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges to confident, goal-driven individuals who navigate life's obstacles with ease. They've achieved their personal and professional objectives and embodied peak performance in all aspects of life. You too can experience this transformation. This is your moment. Your chance to take control, to choose growth over stagnation, achievement over inaction. This is your opportunity to prove to yourself that you're not defined by your challenges—you're defined by how you rise above them. Are you ready to transform your life and achieve peak performance?