Performance Reviews Without the Bullsh*t: How to Lead with Truth, Not Trauma
Victoria Canham • 23 July 2025 • 4 min read
“Feedback is a gift. Ideas are the currency of our next success. Let people see you value both feedback and ideas.”
— Jim Trinka & Les Wallace
You know what’s lazy?
Copy-pasting last year’s performance review, changing a few adjectives, and ending with:
“Keep up the good work!”
You know what’s worse?
Wrapping half-hearted praise around vague criticism like a sad little sandwich—and calling it leadership.
I’ll be real with you, and it IS that deep: if you’re still relying on the outdated “shit sandwich” to deliver feedback, you’re not protecting your team’s feelings, you’re protecting yourself from discomfort. And that is not leadership. That’s avoidance.
In 2025, Employee Experience isn’t about free yoga and hybrid policies. It’s about clarity. Growth. Honesty.
And nowhere is that more needed—or more absent—than in the average performance review.
Let’s break it down:
❇️ What performance reviews are actually for
❇️ Why most of them are pointless
❇️ How to do them brilliantly without being a knob
❇️ How to turn them into a launchpad for performance—not a half-hearted HR tick box
What Performance Reviews Should Be
At their best, reviews are:
❇️ A mirror – an honest reflection on how someone is doing
❇️ A map – clear direction for what comes next
❇️ A motivator – a conversation that sparks energy, not just measures effort
The review is not a surprise party.
It’s not a therapy session.
And it’s definitely not a time to perform emotional gymnastics to avoid saying what needs to be said.
Done well, they’re an essential piece of Employee Experience—because they show your people they matter enough to warrant truth, time and thoughtful support.
Why Most Performance Reviews Fall Flat
Many leaders hate giving performance reviews because:
❇️ They fear upsetting people
❇️ They haven’t been trained to deliver feedback well
❇️ They’re overworked and rush the prep
❇️ They think their job is to be liked, not to lead
So what happens?
They play it safe.
They fluff the edges.
They deliver the dreaded "shit sandwich (compliment–criticism–compliment)” in a voice that’s one octave too cheerful.
“You’re such a great team player… sometimes your communication could be clearer… but you’re doing fine overall!”
This doesn’t help anyone.
Not the high performers (who crave growth).
Not the steady ones (who deserve clarity).
Not the struggling ones (who need direction, not denial).
Let’s Retire the Shit Sandwich. Here’s What to Do Instead:
If you want to deliver a brilliant performance review, one that supports employee development and makes you a respected leader, ditch the fluff and follow this approach:
1. Prepare Like a Pro
This isn’t a “wing it over coffee” kind of meeting.
Come with evidence, examples, and a balanced perspective.
Ask yourself:
❇️ What did they achieve this year? Not just tasks—what was the impact?
❇️ Where have they grown? Where have they plateaued?
❇️ What patterns have you noticed over time?
❇️ What business goals did their work support?
2. Lead With Truth, Not Tension
Start with something honest and specific. Not flattery. Not “nice words.” Just real, constructive truth.
“You’ve made a noticeable improvement in stakeholder engagement since Q2. Your reports are clearer, and I’ve seen better collaboration with the product team. That shift made a difference.”
Then move into growth:
“One area I want us to focus on is how you manage time and expectations under pressure. The missed deadlines in April and May cost us traction, and I know you felt that too. Let’s explore what needs to change.”
Being honest doesn’t make you the bad guy. Being vague makes you a liability.
Truthful. Not cruel.
Clear. Not vague.
3. Make It Two-Way
A review is not a monologue. Ask:
❇️ What are you proud of this year?
❇️ What felt challenging or unclear?
❇️ Where do you want to grow next?
Then listen. And I mean actually listen, with your phone down and your ego parked. Curiosity on.
4. End With a Plan
Don't wrap it up with “Keep doing what you’re doing,” or “Let’s circle back later.” That’s lazy and unhelpful.
Instead, finish with:
❇️ A clear development area
❇️ A target outcome
❇️ The support you’ll offer
❇️ A follow-up date
You’re not there to make them feel good for 30 minutes. You’re there to help them grow for the next 12 months. Your job as a leader isn’t to make them feel good in the moment. It’s to help them become better in the long run.
Say what matters. Say it well. Then help them do something about it.
The High Performer’s Experience: Give Them Something to Work With
The biggest mistake I see?
Neglecting the high performer.
You assume they’re fine. You give them a generic “Keep smashing it,” or worse, an unexplained “⅗ – Meets Expectations” and move on.
I once coached a manager who rated her top performer as “Meets Expectations” purely because she “didn’t make much noise.”
Six weeks later, that person resigned. The team’s delivery dropped. Morale collapsed.
Your best people want:
❇️ Growth
❇️ Recognition
❇️ A future to step into
Great reviews create clarity and momentum. They build their next chapter—not a false sense of security.
⚠️ Lazy Reviews Are a Retention Risk
When reviews feel generic, sugar-coated, or like a waste of time, people disengage.
Worse still, they lose trust in you as a leader.
You don’t need to be ruthless. Please don’t be. But you do need to be rigorous.
You can’t build a high-performing culture by being too ‘nice’ to name the gaps. Let me tell you a secret, genuinely ‘nice’ people don’t gatekeep other people’s careers and the route to success.
And you won’t keep good people by hiding behind corporate speak and tick-box templates.
Performance Reviews Are Employee Experience
Performance reviews are a core moment that matters in the employee journey.
They can make someone feel:
✔ Seen
✔ Valued
✔ Challenged
✔ Excited
—or—
✘ Dismissed
✘ Frustrated
✘ Confused
✘ Checked out
Which one are you delivering?
Final Word
Your people don’t need to be wrapped in cotton wool. They need to be met with courage, care, and clarity.
A brilliant performance review doesn’t avoid discomfort. It holds space for it—and then uses it to spark transformation.
So skip the shit sandwich. Serve up something real. Your future leaders are hungry for it.
Stop wasting reviews. Start building performers.
I train managers to give feedback that lands—without losing their humanity.
Let’s have a proper chat. Book a Clarity & Culture Call with Vicki
🔻
I am Victoria Canham. Performance Coach. People Partner. Straight-talker.
I work with ambitious leaders and businesses who want more than just high performance—they want a workplace culture where clarity, courage, and humanity lead.
After two decades in talent, culture, and leadership development (and one previous life as a chef!), I’ve coached hundreds of professionals to ditch performance plateaus and lead with purpose.
If you're done with fluff-filled feedback and ready to build a team that actually delivers—without burning out your people—let’s talk.
👉 Book a Clarity & Culture Call
Follow me on LinkedIn for more insights on building high-performing teams in 2025.
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This book is a goldmine for leaders who want to give honest, clear feedback without being a jerk. It’s all about the balance between caring personally and challenging directly—which is exactly the tone your blog and your coaching take.
Victoria Canham - Performance and People Strategic Partner
Victoria Canham is an ICF-accredited Certified Professional Coach and the founder of Victoria Canham Consultancy. We are a specialist performance consultancy partnering with senior leaders and HR teams to elevate culture, leadership, and employee experience. Rooted in behavioural insight and change expertise, we diagnose what's truly holding performance back, co-creating practical, strategic interventions that drive sustainable business results and build workplaces that work—for people and performance.
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