Mastering Emotional Control: How to Build Resilience and Thrive

Victoria Canham • 30 October 2024 • 3 min read

“Always make your future bigger than your past.” - Dan Sullivan

There was a time in my life when ambition burnt with an unwavering flame. I remember long nights spent crafting visions, dreaming bigger than seemed possible, all with that heady rush of youthful drive. Everything was possible and nothing in the world was going to stop me. I taught myself new skills (Desktop Publishing, anyone?) on borrowed high-powered machines, and dreamt of days where my glossy magazine made it onto the shelves, all with my self-taught photography, writing and layout skills. There was purpose and excitement, an unwavering belief that I was destined for something great.

But as life unfolded, with its twists and unexpected blows, that once-brilliant fire dimmed. For a while, ambition felt like a luxury, something I’d indulge in “someday” after everything else settled. Life doesn’t wait, though, does it? Careers demand, routines settle, and we often find ourselves on paths that look like success but feel, well, hollow.

Perhaps you’re familiar with this feeling—the one where you’re surrounded by your achievements, yet a small voice asks, “Is this really it?” It’s the experience of many of my clients,high achievers who’ve spent years checking off the accomplishments that seemed like the things to strive for, only to find themselves restless, sensing something is missing.

The Quiet Drift of Deferred Dreams

There’s a part of ambition that thrives on the big, loud goals, but there’s also the quiet side of it—the part that gets set aside when life demands more from us than we ever expected. In my case, the quiet drift happened after personal losses, career setbacks, and a series of life events that forced me to reprioritise. It’s the same for many professionals; they’re so busy succeeding that they almost forget why they wanted that success in the first place.

And here’s what I realised: Success without meaning is like running a race with no finish line. It’s exhausting and ultimately unsatisfying. I came to understand that if we don’t pause and assess, we risk living a life that looks fulfilling from the outside but feels empty on the inside.

What It Really Means to Rediscover Ambition

None of this is to say your ambition dies, or never returns, or that you have to start all over again, it’s simply that what you were once ambitious for may change. Life is filled with circumstances and realities that completely change our way of thinking and our realities, but I think fundamentally, an ambitious person will always stay ambitious, a dreamer some may say, but it’s just that the defined idea of what you’re ambitious for changes. It’s about reconnecting with the things that make you feel truly alive and reshaping your success around those elements.

Having done it myself, this shift in focus is something I guide my wonderful clients through in coaching, where we move from traditional ideas of achievement to something richer and deeply personal. Rediscovering ambition means uncovering what lights you up—not in the ways others expect but in the ways that make you feel undeniably yourself.

Your Journey Back to Yourself

There’s a bittersweet beauty in recognising that life doesn’t always follow the paths we mapped out. But here’s the gift: Every experience—every setback, every success—becomes fuel for your next chapter. And that chapter can be more aligned with your true self than anything that came before.

This isn’t just about making more money or rising higher in your field (though those can be wonderful outcomes). It’s about finding a way to feel fulfilled in all aspects of life, in a way that lets you rest in your accomplishments without feeling like you’ve left parts of yourself behind.

So, if you’re ready to stop deferring your dreams and reconnect with that spark that set you on this journey in the first place, it’s time to act. True ambition isn’t about how high you climb; it’s about making the journey upwards feel deeply, undeniably yours.

Ready to Rediscover Your Ambition?

If you’re ready to rediscover the ambition you once had—one that truly aligns with who you are today—I’d love to help guide you on that path. Coaching isn’t about pushing harder; it’s about finding clarity and living a life that feels as meaningful as it is successful.

Book a complimentary discovery session, and let’s start designing a life that reflects your true aspirations. It’s time to stop deferring your dreams and start living them.

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Victoria Canham - Your Performance Partner

Victoria is an ICF-accredited certified professional coach, who offers personalised performance coaching. With a background in change management and countless hours of professional coaching training and experience, I made the big switch to full-time coaching in 2020. I know what it is like to suddenly have the rug pulled out from under you while you're busy making other plans, as a result, I now help people like you to bounce back from adversity and major setbacks to emerge stronger and better than ever before. Our clients have transformed from feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges to confident, goal-driven individuals who navigate life's obstacles with ease. They've achieved their personal and professional objectives and embodied peak performance in all aspects of life. You too can experience this transformation. This is your moment. Your chance to take control, to choose growth over stagnation, achievement over inaction. This is your opportunity to prove to yourself that you're not defined by your challenges—you're defined by how you rise above them. Are you ready to transform your life and achieve peak performance?